WEDDING OBJECTIVES IN ISLAM

By
Al-Ustadz Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas

1. To Meet The Demands of Human Intelligence
Marriage is the nature of man, then the legitimate way to meet this need is by 'aqad marriage (through marriage), not in a very dirty and disgusting way, like the ways of people today; with dating, cohabiting, prostitution, adultery, lesbian, gay, and others that have been deviated and forbidden by Islam.



2. To Fortify the Noble Akhlaq and to Subdue the View.
The main objective of the marriage disyari'atkan in Islam among them is to fortify the human dignity of the dirty and vile acts, which can degrade and destroy the noble human dignity. Islam views marriage and family formation as an effective means of keeping young men and women out of destruction, and protecting society from chaos.

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج, فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج, ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاء.

"O youth! Whoever of you is capable of marrying, then marry, because the marriage is more subdued view, and more fortify the farji (penis). And whoever can not afford, let him shaum (fast), because shaum can fortify him. "[1]


3. To Enforce an Islamic Household
In the Qur'an it is mentioned that Islam justifies the existence of thalaq (divorce), if the husband and wife are no longer able to uphold the boundaries of Allah, as the word of Allah 'Azza wa Jalla in the following verse:

الطلاق مرتان فإمساك بمعروف أو تسريح بإحسان ولا يحل لكم أن تأخذوا مما آتيتموهن شيئا إلا أن يخافا ألا يقيما حدود الله فإن خفتم ألا يقيما حدود الله فلا جناح عليهما فيما افتدت به تلك حدود الله فلا تعتدوها ومن يتعد حدود الله فأولئك هم الظالمون

"Thalaq (who can be referred to) twice. (After that the husband can) withhold well, or release well. It is not lawful for you to take back something that you have given them, unless both (husband and wife) are afraid of not being able to live the laws of God. If you (the guardians) fear that both are incapable of observing the laws of God, then both are not guilty of the payment that (should) be given (by the wife) to redeem himself. These are the laws of God, so do not break them. Whoever violates the laws of God, they are the zhalim. "[Al-Baqarah: 229]


That is, both are not able to implement the Shari'ah of Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. And justified reconcile (again married again) if both are able to uphold the boundaries of Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. As mentioned in Surah Al-Baqarah, continue the verse above:

فإن طلقها فلا تحل له من بعد حتى تنكح زوجا غيره فإن طلقها فلا الله

"Then if he (husband) divorces her (after the second thalaq), then the woman is not lawful anymore for her before she marries another husband. Then if the other husband divorces her, then there is no sin for both (first husband and ex-wife) to remarry if they think they will be able to live the laws of God. These are the provisions of God which He explains to those who are knowledgeable. "[Al-Baqarah: 230]

So, the noble purpose of marriage is for the husband and wife to implement the Shari'ah of Islam in the household. Law enforcement of households based on Islamic shari'ah is mandatory. Therefore, every Muslim and Muslim who wants to foster an Islamic household, the teachings of Islam have given some criteria about the ideal mate, which is to be kafa-ah and shalihah.

a. Kafa-ah According to Islamic Concepts
The adverse effects of materialism have overwhelmed many parents. Not a few parents, in this day and age, who always focuses on the criteria of wealth, balance of status, social status and descent only in choosing a mate of his sons and daughters. The problem of kufu '(equal, equal) is measured only by material and property only. While religious considerations do not receive serious attention.

Islam is very concerned about kafa-ah or similarity, equivalence or equal in terms of marriage. Given the similarity between the two spouses, the effort to establish and nurture an Islamic household - God willing - will come true. But kafa-ah according to Islam is measured only by the quality of faith and taqwa and morality of a person, not measured by social status, ancestry and others. Allah 'Azza wa Jalla views one's degree equally, be it Arab or non Arab, poor or rich. There is no difference in degrees but the degree of taqwanya.

Allah 'Azza wa Jalla said:

يا أيها الناس إنا خلقناكم من ذكر وأنثى وجعلناكم شعوبا وقبائل لتعارفوا إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم إن الله عليم خبير
"
O people! We created you from a man and a woman, and made you nation and tribe to know one another. Truly, the most honorable among you in the sight of Allah is the most devoted. Truly, Allah is Knowing, being an Examiner. "[Al-Hujuraat: 13]

For those who sekufu ', then there is no obstacle for both to marry each other. Compulsory for parents, young men and women who are still oriented on things that are materialist and maintain the customs to leave it and return to the Qur'an and the sunnah of the Prophet sahih, in accordance with the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:

تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها, فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك.

"A woman is married for four things; because of his wealth, his descendants, his beauty, and his religion. So you should choose a woman who is obedient to his religion (to-Islamannya), surely you will be lucky. "[2]

This hadith explains that in general a person marries a woman for these four things. And the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam advised to choose a strong religion, namely choosing a shalihah because women shalihah is the best jewelry world, to survive the world and the hereafter.

However, if there is a man who chooses a beautiful woman, or has abundant property, or for some other reason, but lacks his religion, then can the man marry her? The scholars allow it and the marriage remains valid.

God explains in His word:

الخبيثات للخبيثين والخبيثون للخبيثات والطيبات للطيبين والطيبون للطيبات

"Wicked women to abominable men, and cruel men to abominable women. Good women for good men and good men for good women (also) ... "[An-Nuur: 26]

b. Choosing a Candidate Wife of the Shalihah
A man who wants to marry should choose a woman who is shalihah, so too women have to choose a righteous man.

According to Al-Qur-an, women who shalihah are:

فالصالحات قانتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله

"... So the women who are righteous are those who obey (Allah) and guard themselves when (their husbands) are not, for Allah has guarded them ..." [An-Nisaa ': 34]

Lafazh قانتات explained by Qatadah, meaning a woman who is obedient to God and obedient to her husband. [3]

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

الدنيا متاع وخير متاع الدنيا المرأة الصالحة.

"The world is a jewelry, and as good as world jewelry is a shalihah woman." [4]

In another hadith, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

خير النساء التي تسره إذا نظر إليها وتطيعه إذا أمر ولا تخالفه في نفسها ولا مالها بما يكره.

"The best woman is what pleases the husband when he sees it, obeys it when the husband commands it, and does not disguise himself and his property by what his husband dislikes." [5]

Rasulullah shallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam also said:

أربع من السعادة: المرأة الصالحة, والمسكن الواسع, والمركب الهنيء, وأربع من الشقاوة: الجار السوء, والمرأة السوء, والمسكن الضيق, والمركب السوء.

"Four things are happiness; the wife of the shalihah, the spacious living quarters, the good neighbor, and the comfortable vehicle. And four things that are misery; a bad neighbor, a bad wife, a cramped living quarters, and a bad vehicle. "[6]

According to the Qur'an and the sunnah as-saheeh, and explanations of the scholars that among the characteristics of women shalihah is:

1. Obey God and obey His Messenger,
2. Obey the husband and keep his honor when the husband is or is not there and keep the property of her husband,
3. Keeping the five daily prayers,
4. Implement fasting during Ramadan,
5. Wear a veil that covers all her private parts and not to show off beauty (tabarruj) like a Jahiliyyah woman. [7]
6. Be noble,
7. Always keep his tongue,
8. Do not talk and be alone with men who are not mahramnya because the three are satan,
9. Not accepting guests who are not liked by her husband,
10. Be obedient to both parents in kindness,
11. Do good to his neighbor in accordance with the Shari'ah.

If these criteria are met - God willing - the Islamic household will come into being.

In addition, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam advocated choosing fertile women (many descendants) and compassionate to give birth to the next generation of the ummah.

4. To Increase Worship To God
According to the concept of Islam, live fully to serve and worship only to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla and do good to fellow human beings. From this point of view, the household is one of the fertile land for the worship and the righteous deeds in addition to the worship and other good deeds, even the marriage of a husband and wife including worship (alms).

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

... وفي بضع أحدكم صدقة, قالوا: يا رسول الله, أيأتي أحدنا شهوته ويكون له فيها أجر? قال: أرأيتم لو وضعها في حرام, أكان عليه فيها وزر? فكذلك إذا وضعها في الحلال كان له أجر.

"... Someone of you have intercourse with his wife is alms!" (Hearing the words of the Prophet, the Companions astonished) then asked: "O Messenger of Allah, does one of us vent his lust for his wife will get a reward?" Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied : "What do you think if he (a husband) has intercourse with her other than his wife, is he not a sinner? Similarly, if he has intercourse with his wife (in a lawful place), he will get a reward. "[8]

5. To Acquire the Favorite Descendants
The purpose of marriage is to obtain the righteous descendants, to preserve and develop the children of Adam, as Allah says' Azza wa Jalla:

والله جعل لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا وجعل لكم من أزواجكم بنين وحفدة ورزقكم من الطيبات أفبالباطل يؤمنون وبنعمت الله هم يكفرون

"And Allah has made for you a partner (husband or wife) of your own kind and made your children and grandchildren out of your mate, and gave you rizki from good. Why do they believe in the fool and deny the favor of God? "[An-Nahl: 72]

The most important thing again in marriage is not just a child, but trying to find and form a quality generation, which is looking for children who are pious and devoted to God.

As Allah says' Azza wa Jalla:

وابتغوا ما كتب الله لكم

"... And look for what Allah has ordained for you (ie children)." [Al-Baqarah: 187]

Abu Hurairah, Ibn 'Abbas and Anas bin Malik radhiyallaahu' anhum, as well as other Imams of the Tabi'in interpret the above verse with the child. [9]

That is to say, that Allah 'Azza wa Jalla commands us to acquire children by means of a husband-wife relationship of what God has ordained for us. Everyone always pray to be given a righteous descendant. So, if he has been child-reared, it should be if he educates him properly.

Of course, the righteous descendants will not be obtained but with the right Islamic education. This is because the number of educational institutions labeled Islam, but the content and the way is very far even deviate from the Islamic values ​​are noble. So many we find children of Muslims who do not have noble morals in accordance with Islamic values, due to education and false guidance. Therefore, the husband and wife are responsible for educating, teaching, and directing their children on the right path, in accordance with Islam.

On the purpose of marriage, Islam also considers that the formation of the family as one way to realize the bigger goals covering various aspects of society that will have a major and fundamental influence on the Muslims and the existence of Muslims

[Copied from the book Special Gifts to the Sakinah Family, Author Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Publisher Pustaka At-Taqwa Bogor - West Java, Cet Ke II Dzul Qa'dah 1427H / December 2006]
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Footnote
[1]. Hadith saheeh: Narrated by Ahmad (I / 424, 425, 432), al-Bukhari (1905, 5065, 5066), Muslim (no 1400), at-Tirmidhi (No. 1081), an-Nasa-i (VI / 56, 57), ad-Darimi (II / 132) and al-Baihaqi (VII / 77), from Sahabah 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud radhiyallaahu' anhu.
[2]. Shari'ah hadith: Narrated al-Bukhari (No. 5090), Muslim (1466), Abu Dawud (no. 2047), an-Nasa-i (VI / 68), Ibn Majah (No. 1858), Ahmad ( II / 428), from Abu Hurairah radhiyallaahu 'anhu.
[3]. Tafsiir Ibn Jarir ath-Thabari (IV / 62, No. 9320).
[4]. The hadiths are narrated by Muslim (1467), an-Nasa-i (VI / 69), Ahmad (II / 168), Ibn Hibban (4020 -at-Ta'liqaatul Hisaan) and al-Baihaqi (VII / 80) from 'Abdullah bin' Amr radhiyallaahu 'anhuma.
[5]. Hadith hasan: Narrated by an-Nasa-i (VI / 68), al-Hakim (II / 161) and Ahmad (II / 251, 432, 438), from Sahabat Abu Hurairah radhi-yallaahu 'anhu. See the ash-Shahiihah Lineage (1838).
[6]. Hadith saheeh: Narrated by Ibn Hibban (No. 4021 -at-Ta'liiqatul Hisaan 'ala Shahiih Ibni Hibban) from Sa'ad bin Abi Waqqash's hadith in marfu'. See the ash-Shahiihah Lineage (No. 282).
[7]. See Surat al-Ahzaab (33) verse 33.
[8]. The Had shth of Saheeh: Narrated by Muslim (No. 1006), al-Bukhari in al-Adaabul Mufrad (No. 227), Ahmad (V / 167, 168), Ibn Hibban (No. 4155 -at-Ta'liiqatul Hisaan) and al-Baihaqi (IV / 188), from Abu Dharr radhiyallaahu 'anhu.
[9]. Tafsiir Ibn Kathir (I / 236), cet. Darus Salam.



Source: https://almanhaj.or.id/3232-wedding-destination-in-islam.html